Change Ahead

So I haven't blogged in a while. I've had a lot on my mind. Caleb came home, which has been great!! I got to pause life for a few days while the family was down. But now I've had to press play, and I wish I could just push the fast forward button. I want to fast forward to a time in my life where everything is in place.

I have had to make so many choices and things have been changing like crazy. If there is anything I learned from Snow Canyon High School basketball it is that the game is not over until the final buzzer goes off. (Those who went to Snow Canyon know what I'm talking about) I've realized that things can change in a split second.

At the end of my senior year, I was set on going to Snow College. I knew where I wanted to live, I knew what I was going to major in, I had accepted a scholarship. I was set. But that changed. I ended up taking out a student loan for Dixie State College.

Fall semester I had no desire to go to school. I pretty much failed all my classes. This semester, I'm focused on school and actually enjoy going. At the beginning of this semester, I was signed up for 15 credits. I am now down to 9.

In May of 2010, I had never been employed a day of my life, but then I started working at Tuacahn which only lasted until December. In October of 2010, I got a job at Costco. That only lasted until December. In the middle of all this I was volunteering at Big Brothers Big Sisters in the office. In January 2011, I worked at Smith's for 3 weeks, but then got offered a job at The Hilton Garden Inn. After I accepted that job, Costco called me back to work part-time there. I've made an entire resume in less than a year.

A month ago I was set on moving to Mesa Arizona. I wanted to get out of St. George and live on my own. I knew how I was going to find a place to live and I started figuring things out financially. But due to the fact that my car keeps dying on me, I now have to buy a car of my own, which I will no longer be able to move to Mesa.

This post is really random, but it's because my mind is really scrambled. There are so many things that I just don't know the best decisions.

I don't like going to my home ward. I like being in the nursery and everything, but I lack the social life I could have if I went to a college ward. But I hate my college ward too. I know basically everyone in there from high school, and they are still stuck in high school. It makes going to church hard.

Basically, I'm just lost. I'm lost on which college ward to go to. I'm lost on whether to move out or not. I'm lost on where to move out to. I'm just lost.

There is so much change about to happen in my life and I don't know if I'm ready for it.

One More Week

I can't believe it. It's been two years. My brother Caleb has been out on his mission for two years and he comes home in ONE WEEK!!!

Before his mission, Caleb and I were never really close. He and my sister were always close growing up and they would leave me out of things. (I'm not feeling sorry for myself...it's just how it was) He didn't really like the idea of the 2 of us going to high school together for his senior year so he would avoid me. When he graduated and my sister moved out, we started to get really close. We would talk about random things and hang out around the house. We became really good friends. But this was only a couple of months before he left on his mission. Him leaving on his mission really hit me hard. We had just started getting close and now he was going to be in Mexico for 2 years. So I'm really excited for his return. I'm even taking Spanish in college so we can talk to each other behind my parent's back :)

So enough with the boring stuff...Here's the evolution of Dubby (Caleb)



He's really cute!!!











And he's kind of a dork...













But he knows how to clean up!!















And we can't WAIT to have him home!!!

So if you've made it this far in my post, and you want to come welcome him home, he comes home on February 16. He will be coming to the NEW St. George airport at 4:20 (closer to 4:30, but to be safe be there at 4:20) Bring signs, balloons, anything...but only if you want to!! :) He will also be speaking at the Pioneer Parkway Chapel on February 20 at 11:00 a.m.

Paige Me I'm On Call

Everyone has a story behind their name. Some are named after a close family member. Some are named because their mother's were on morphine when they were being named. (Caleb was named this way haha.) And some were named simply because their parents liked the name. I have a very interesting story behind my name.

I was named after my dad's pager.


My dad has been a nurse for 20 years and he absolutely loves it. No, he is not a doctor. And yes, he wears a white dress and hat....okay I'm kidding on that one. But anyway! When my parents started having kids they discussed names and my mom came up with the idea of naming a girl Paige McCall because every time my dad would leave the house he would say, "Page me. I'm on call!" So I am Paige McCall Fielding, short for Page Me I'm On Call. Some people think I'm making this up. But it's absolutely true. Some people think it's horrible that my parents would ACTUALLY tell me this, but I love it! It's unique, just like me.

So I encourage you to find out why you were named what you are. You may not have a story like mine, but nonetheless, you have a story. You will be surprised at what you find out!

I Am Who I Am

As most of my friends (and even random people throughout St. George) know, I LOVE footie pajamas. What better way to stay young than to cozy up in some adult size footie pajamas at the end of the night?

Throughout my life, I've always been worried about what other people think about me. I never wanted people to be mad at me and I never wanted to do anything stupid that would make someone chuckle about me with someone else. But why? What have I been afraid of?

A book that I'm reading in my Interpersonal Communications class has really got me thinking about why I am so worried about what other people think about me. The book is called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. (I highly recommend it). In his book he talks about four agreements that we should make with ourselves to be "free."

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity and say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others.

Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinion and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.

Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Reading this book has made me notice some of the reasons why I have always been so worried about what others think about me. I am not always impeccable with my word. I sometimes say things about others when they aren't around, and I sometimes say negative things about myself. I take almost everything personally. I assume that other people think things of me when really they don't think those things at all. I don't always do my best. I sometimes give up because I'm bored and I just don't want to give it my all. All of these things play a part in why I am so worried about what others think.

So why did I mention the footie pajamas at the beginning? Well, I've only been reading this book for a week, but I've made it a goal to try and make the four agreements a part of my life. And already I've noticed a HUGE difference. I went over to my friend's house wearing a pair of my comfy footie pajamas. They are my twister ones to be exact. My friend has a 14 year old brother and his friends were over. I walked downstairs in my jammies and one of his friends gave me the funniest look like, "what the heck is that girl wearing?" Usually I would start making assumptions and start feeling stupid like "why did I wear these to my friends house?" But I didn't. I simply looked at him and thought to myself, "Don't take anything personally." And I didn't! And it felt great! I didn't care what he thought about me and I didn't care that as soon as I left they were going to laugh about me. It was a huge relief.

So try it. Be impeccable to your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best.

Bedtime Routine

This post is going to be short, sweet, and to the point. It's just to share with the world about my interesting prayer with Norah (my niece) last night.

Her bedtime routine is really good and it makes her go to sleep with ease. We read 2 books, sing "I am a child of God" and "Families Can Be Together Forever", and then say a prayer. When she is sick we give her the medication and then start her bedtime routine.

Last night I needed to give her the medication, but I forgot about it until I had already done her bedtime routine. When I remembered and finally gave it to her, I tried laying her back down and she was fussy. I knew I would have to do the routine again. So we read the same 2 books, and sang the songs. I wasn't going to pray again because we had already prayed, but I knew I needed to because it was her routine.

Here's the interesting part...

In the prayer I was thanking Heavenly Father for everything and going through all of the family members, and I was wrapping up I was praying for Norah to sleep well. Well my exact wording was: "And please bless Norah that she may rest, and that she may rest in peace." HAHA!! As soon as I realized what I had just said my mind started going all over the place. I started to think about how do I reverse that. So I said, "and that she will wake up in the morning loving everyone like she always does."

I thought it was so funny! So I called my sister-in-law to tell her to make sure she was snoring as usual when she gets home. She woke up just fine this morning and ALIVE!! Haha!! It made me laugh and I hope it made whoever is reading this at least chuckle inside a little. :)