Throughout my life, I've always been worried about what other people think about me. I never wanted people to be mad at me and I never wanted to do anything stupid that would make someone chuckle about me with someone else. But why? What have I been afraid of?
A book that I'm reading in my Interpersonal Communications class has really got me thinking about why I am so worried about what other people think about me. The book is called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. (I highly recommend it). In his book he talks about four agreements that we should make with ourselves to be "free."
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity and say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinion and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Reading this book has made me notice some of the reasons why I have always been so worried about what others think about me. I am not always impeccable with my word. I sometimes say things about others when they aren't around, and I sometimes say negative things about myself. I take almost everything personally. I assume that other people think things of me when really they don't think those things at all. I don't always do my best. I sometimes give up because I'm bored and I just don't want to give it my all. All of these things play a part in why I am so worried about what others think.
So why did I mention the footie pajamas at the beginning? Well, I've only been reading this book for a week, but I've made it a goal to try and make the four agreements a part of my life. And already I've noticed a HUGE difference. I went over to my friend's house wearing a pair of my comfy footie pajamas. They are my twister ones to be exact. My friend has a 14 year old brother and his friends were over. I walked downstairs in my jammies and one of his friends gave me the funniest look like, "what the heck is that girl wearing?" Usually I would start making assumptions and start feeling stupid like "why did I wear these to my friends house?" But I didn't. I simply looked at him and thought to myself, "Don't take anything personally." And I didn't! And it felt great! I didn't care what he thought about me and I didn't care that as soon as I left they were going to laugh about me. It was a huge relief.
So try it. Be impeccable to your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best.
I needed this post. its great. :) thank you!
ReplyDeleteand, for the record, i LOVE your footie pajamas!